You picture yourself standing there in lingerie, frozen like a deer in headlights. You don’t know what to do with your hands. Some stranger is telling you to “look sexy” and you’re like… how? You’re convinced you’ll regret this whole thing before the first click of the camera.
Here’s what I need you to know: almost everyone worries that boudoir will be awkward before they book. And almost everyone is shocked by how not-awkward it actually is.
The anticipation? That’s the hard part. The fear of feeling weird is what stops most women from booking. But the actual session? It’s guided, it’s supportive, and it’s surprisingly comfortable. Most women forget they were nervous within 15 minutes of shooting.
This guide breaks down why you’re feeling this fear, what actually makes boudoir sessions feel awkward (and how I prevent it), and what really happens during your first session so you know exactly what to expect.
Why Almost Everyone Feels This Way Before They Book
You’ve Never Done This Before
Of course you’re nervous. You’ve never stripped down to lingerie and let a professional photograph you. You’ve never posed like this. You have zero frame of reference for what this is supposed to feel like.
Your brain hates unfamiliar situations – especially ones where you feel vulnerable. So it creates worst-case scenarios to protect you. You imagine every awkward possibility because you don’t actually know what will happen.
But here’s the thing: I work with first-timers constantly. For you, this is new and scary. For me, this is Tuesday. I’ve guided hundreds of women through this exact experience. I know you’re nervous. I know you don’t know what to do. The entire session is designed around making sure you never feel lost or awkward.
What actually happens: Within the first few minutes, you realize I know exactly what I’m doing. And that confidence? It’s contagious. You relax because you’re not figuring this out alone.
You Think You Won’t Know How to Pose
This is the biggest fear. “I don’t know how to pose. I’m gonna look so awkward. What am I supposed to do with my hands? Where do I look? How do I stand?”
You’re right. You don’t know how to pose. But you’re not supposed to. That’s not your job.
Your job is to show up and breathe. My job is to make you look stunning.
I don’t just say “look sexy” and hope you figure it out. I give you specific, step-by-step direction for every single pose:
“Turn your body to the left. Shift your weight to your back leg. Drop your right shoulder. Place your hand on your hip – soft, not stiff. Tilt your chin down slightly. Perfect. Now breathe.”
You follow my lead through every movement. You’re never left wondering what to do. That removes the awkwardness entirely because there’s no guessing involved.
Fair warning though: I will bend you like a pretzel. Your leg will be up here. Your hip will discover it can do things you didn’t know were possible. You’ll be like “Am I in Pilates or is this a photo session??”
But then something shifts. The embarrassment drops. The tension releases. You start to see yourself – not the version who thinks she needs to change, but the real you. The powerful you. The version who’s always been enough.
What actually happens: You start the session thinking you can’t pose. By the end, you’re moving with confidence because I’ve coached you the entire time. The “awkward” feeling never happens because you’re never left to figure it out alone.
What Actually Makes People Feel Awkward (It’s Not What You Think)
Silence and Not Knowing What to Do
Awkwardness doesn’t come from being in lingerie or being photographed. It comes from silence and uncertainty.
If you’re standing in front of a camera with no direction – just silence and staring – that’s when you feel awkward. Your brain spirals. “What am I supposed to be doing? Is this right? Do I look stupid? Why isn’t anyone saying anything?”
But my sessions don’t have that silence. First off, I play music to get you in the mood. Whether you like fast or slow songs, I got you! Then, I’m talking to you the entire time — giving direction, checking in., showing you images on the back of my camera, and adjusting your pose. The session is constant communication, not uncomfortable silence.
What actually happens: You’re too busy following direction and talking with me to feel awkward. There’s no dead air. No staring. No wondering what’s happening. Just constant guidance and connection.
Feeling Watched Instead of Guided
There’s a huge difference between feeling watched and feeling guided.
Feeling watched is passive and uncomfortable. Someone’s staring at you, judging you, evaluating you. That creates awkwardness.
Feeling guided is active and supportive. Someone’s helping you, directing you, working with you to create something beautiful. That removes awkwardness because you’re a team, not a subject being observed.
Bad photographers make you feel watched. Good photographers make you feel guided. And that difference is everything.
What actually happens: I’m actively engaged in the process. I’m not standing back staring. I’m right there with you – adjusting your pose, moving your hand slightly, fixing your hair, showing you the images, giving feedback. You feel supported, not scrutinized.
What Happens in the First 10 Minutes of Your Session
Hair and Makeup Settles Your Nerves
You don’t walk in and immediately start shooting. You start with professional hair and makeup, which takes about 45 minutes to an hour.
This time serves two purposes. One, it makes you look polished and camera-ready. Two, it gives you time to relax, breathe, and transition from your everyday life into the experience.
While you’re getting your hair and makeup done, you’re sitting talking to the makeup artist and me. You’re seeing that this is calm and professional, not weird or uncomfortable. The nerves start to settle before the camera ever comes out.
By the time your hair and makeup are done, you already feel different, confident and ready. And that makes the actual photoshoot part feel way less intimidating.
What clients say: “By the time we started taking photos, I’d been in the studio for an hour already. It didn’t feel scary anymore. It just felt like the next natural step.”
I Never Throw You in Front of the Camera
When it’s time to start shooting, I don’t throw you in front of the camera with no preparation. Here’s what actually happens:
We talk through your outfits together and choose what you want to start with based on what you feel most comfortable in. Then we will go over any specific concerns you have about your body or poses you’re nervous about. I want you to feel comfortable with the angles we are going to be photographing.
Then we start with simple poses. Nothing dramatic or exposing. Just comfortable positions that let you get used to being in front of the camera. I show you the images on the back of my camera so you can see in real time that you look beautiful. This builds confidence before we move to more advanced or revealing poses.
The session is paced. Gradual. Designed to ease you in instead of overwhelming you. And that pacing is what prevents awkwardness.
What clients say: “I thought we’d just jump right in and I’d have to figure it out. But we eased into it slowly. By the time we got to the more revealing poses, I was already comfortable.”
How I Fully Guide Your Posing So You Never Have to Guess
You don’t need to know how to pose, that’s my job!
During your session, I guide you through every single movement with specific, clear direction:
“Turn your body to the left. Good. Now shift your weight to your back leg. Drop your right shoulder. Place your hand on your hip, but keep it soft, not stiff. Bring your chin and chest to the sky. Perfect. Now take a deep breath and let your face relax.”
That’s what the direction sounds like. Specific enough that you know exactly what to do. Constant enough that you’re never left guessing. Supportive enough that you feel confident instead of criticized.
I’m not telling you to “be sexy” or “look confident” and leaving you to interpret what that means. I’m telling you exactly where to put your hands, how to angle your body, where to look, when to breathe. You move slowly from pose to pose, and I guide every single movement.
This removes awkwardness entirely. Because awkwardness comes from not knowing what to do. When I’m telling you exactly what to do, step by step, there’s no room for awkwardness. Just following direction.
And yes, you’ll feel like a rotisserie chicken at times. Your leg will be up here. Your hip will discover new flexibility. You’ll be sweating in silence wondering what core strength is holding all this together. But then you’ll start laughing – because you realize this is just part of the process. The discomfort is temporary. The confidence is permanent.
Why Most Women Stop Feeling Awkward Within 15 Minutes
Seeing the Back of the Camera Changes Everything
The moment that shifts everything is when you see the first few images on the back of my camera.
Because you’re not seeing what you expected. You’re not seeing awkward, unflattering photos that confirm your fears.
You’re seeing yourself look stunning. Confident. Beautiful. Completely at ease. And you think, “Wait, that’s me?”
That visual proof short-circuits your anxiety. You realize: this is working. I don’t look awkward. I actually look amazing. And once you have that evidence, the fear dissolves.
From that point on, you’re not worried about looking awkward anymore. You’re excited to see the next shot. You’re trusting the process. You’re having fun.
What clients say: “The first time she showed me the back of the camera, I literally gasped. I could not believe that was me. From that moment on, I wasn’t nervous anymore. I was just excited.”
You Realize You’re Safe
The other shift that happens quickly is realizing you’re safe. You’re not being judged. You’re not being made to feel uncomfortable. I’m professional, respectful, and focused on making you look and feel beautiful.
This is a common fear: “What if the photographer is creepy? What if I feel unsafe?”
But professional boudoir photographers create an environment where you feel respected and comfortable from the moment you walk in.
The studio is private. The session is just you and me (unless you bring someone). The energy is calm and supportive, not weird or uncomfortable. You realize within minutes that this is a professional experience designed around your comfort and safety.
Once you know you’re safe, the awkwardness disappears. Because awkwardness often stems from feeling vulnerable and unprotected. When you feel safe, you can relax. And when you relax, the magic happens.
What clients say: “I was worried it would feel weird or uncomfortable. But from the second I walked in, I felt totally safe. The whole vibe was professional and supportive. I could relax and just enjoy it.”
What Clients Say After Their Session
The most common thing I hear after a boudoir session is: “I can’t believe I was so nervous. That was actually fun!”
“I thought this was going to be so awkward. It wasn’t awkward at all.” Almost everyone expects awkwardness but almost no one experiences it. As the session is designed specifically to prevent awkwardness through constant guidance, communication, and support.
“Within 10 minutes I forgot I was nervous!” The beginning is always the most nerve-wracking. But once you’re in the flow of the session – following direction, seeing yourself look beautiful – the nerves evaporate. You stop overthinking and start enjoying.
“I actually had so much fun and I want to do this again.” This is the most surprising outcome for most clients. They book expecting to feel awkward and uncomfortable. They leave having had so much fun they want to do it again. Because the experience is nothing like what they imagined.
“I wish I hadn’t waited so long to do this!” After seeing their images and experiencing how comfortable the session was, clients almost always say they wish they’d done it sooner. They wasted time worrying about something that wasn’t actually a problem.
“The anticipation was way worse than the actual experience!” This is the truth about boudoir sessions. The fear and anxiety you feel before booking is always worse than the reality of the experience. Always. But, the thing you’re most afraid of (feeling awkward) is the thing that almost never happens.
Frequently Asked Questions About Feeling Nervous
What if I’m shy?
Being shy is completely normal, and it doesn’t disqualify you from having a beautiful boudoir session. Shy clients often end up with the most stunning images because they’re genuine and present instead of trying to perform. I work with shy clients all the time, and the session is specifically designed to make you comfortable even if you’re naturally reserved. We go at your pace. We ease in slowly. I never push you beyond your comfort zone.
What if I’m not confident?
You don’t need confidence before the session. That’s the whole point. The confidence comes from the experience, not before it. Every single client is nervous when they arrive. Every single one. Being nervous doesn’t mean you’re not ready. It means you’re human. Your confidence builds as the session goes on, it’s not required before you walk in.
Can I talk during the session or should I be quiet?
Absolutely talk! The session should feel like a conversation, not an uncomfortable photoshoot where you’re silent and stiff. I will have music playing (90s R&B is my love language, but so is Ariana Grande), so most clients talk the whole time. We also dance, laugh, chat, and joke around. That natural conversation is what keeps the session feeling comfortable instead of awkward. So yes, talk as much as you want.
What if I feel uncomfortable with a certain pose?
Then we don’t do that pose. Simple as that. If something doesn’t feel right, we adjust it or skip it entirely. The session is designed around your comfort level, not around checking off a list of poses you “have to” do. You’re in control of how much you show and what you’re comfortable with. If you feel uncomfortable, we change course immediately.
What if I start crying during the reveal?
That’s completely normal and happens often. Most women get emotional when they see their images for the first time because they’re not seeing what they expected. They’re seeing themselves as beautiful instead of flawed. Crying during the reveal is a sign that something shifted. That you saw yourself differently. And that’s exactly what this experience is designed to do.
Do you work with clients who are plus size or older or have different body types?
Yes. I work with clients of all sizes, ages, and body types. You’re not the exception. You’re not the only one who’s nervous about your body. Every client has something they’re self-conscious about. And every client leaves shocked by how beautiful their images are. The session is designed to work for every body, not just one specific type.
Do I Need To Lose Weight Before A Session?
What if my partner doesn’t understand why I want to do this?
This is your experience, not theirs. If your partner is supportive, that’s wonderful. If they’re not, that’s a conversation worth having about why you deserve to invest in yourself and your confidence. Ultimately, this is for you first and the partner benefit is secondary.
So, Are Boudoir Photos Awkward?
No…not when they’re done professionally. When you’re guided through every step and the experience is designed around your comfort and confidence, the session is not awkward.
However, the fear of awkwardness is valid. The anticipation is real, but the actual experience is nothing like what you’re imagining. It’s supportive, guided, and surprisingly comfortable. Most women forget they were nervous within 15 minutes and leave wishing they’d done it sooner.
If you’ve been thinking about booking a boudoir session but the fear of awkwardness is holding you back, know this: that fear is the only thing standing between you and an experience that could change how you see yourself.
The awkwardness you’re imagining doesn’t exist in a professional boudoir session. What does exist is guidance, support, beautiful images, and a confidence shift you didn’t know was possible.
Stop letting the fear of something that won’t happen keep you from something that could be transformative.
